The greatest gifts in my life have come in the form of breast cancer, foreclosure, my drug and sex addicted father, who passed away when I was ten years old, my ex-husband, my children, Jake and Jonah, and their sister, Sydnee, who died two days shy of her due date.
One might ask how losing a father at a young age, getting divorced, losing a child or having cancer could possibly be considered gifts. There is no doubt that these were very challenging times in my life, but once the dust settled, and maybe even during some of the later experiences, I was able to see the gift in each and every experience in my life.
Within each of our not-so-normal lives, we are faced with challenges along the way, nobody is exempt. These challenges show up for us to help us grow. Each and every one of those experiences leaves us with a “gift”. The catch is, we don’t actually get the gift until we are aware it’s there for us. Imagine a beautifully wrapped present hiding way up high in the closet, but you don’t know it exists. It only becomes exciting when you know it’s there and you have the chance to tear it open. The good news is it’s never too late to find them, we just need to open our minds to another way of seeing things.
My hope is that through this series of dysfunctional, crazy, funny, challenging and sometimes embarrassing glances into my life, you will learn to spot the silver linings in your life, unveiling these precious gems that have the power to bring you freedom and peace of mind.
I’m going to tell you some very personal details about my life and you will likely have thoughts of judgment, maybe anger at some point, but don’t stress out, just breathe. I forgive you. Xo
Zoe was a six-month old golden retriever that came into my life when I was pregnant with my daughter, Sydnee. She was sweet, beautiful, loving, quiet, and most importantly, fully trained. I wasn’t looking for a dog because I was having a baby, and I didn’t want the responsibility of a dog and a baby at the same time. My sister-in-law couldn’t keep her though, and something in me told me to take her anyways-she was so cute!
I am incredibly grateful that Zoe came into my life because shortly thereafter Sydnee passed away, and Zoe was my constant companion. She stuck by my side day in and day out. Her unwavering, ooshy gooshy love helped me get through one of the most difficult times of my life. She sat by me while I cried and journaled, walked with me everyday and kept me company all day and night. I don’t know how I would have gotten through the loss of my daughter without her.
Zoe coming into my life was no accident; she was right there on the road map just exactly where she was supposed to be, and she stayed there until the summer I had to move out of my house and into a condo that didn’t allow pets. She passed away just two weeks before I moved. She was a very intuitive dog and one of my greatest teacher.
Zoe taught me how to be unconditionally loving before I became a parent and had to learn “on the job”. She taught me to listen without the need to make the conversation all about me. She taught me to be loyal and to stick by people even when they aren’t at their best. And most of all, Zoe reminded me that the universe brings us everything we need and right on time.
Isn’t she the sweetest!!! Miss you! xoxo