I was talking with a friend recently about the loss of their baby prior to birth and how devastating it was for them. We started talking about how he and his wife handled their grief so differently and it occurred to me that my ex and I did too. I told him that I basically checked out for about a year, I didn’t work I just read, went for walks, did some journaling and was thrilled that I reached my goal of getting dressed each day. My husband on the other hand went right back to work and actually worked more. I was pretty mad at him for it. I thought he didn’t care when in fact that was just his way of dealing. For this couple it’s the same, she is at home having trouble getting back into life and he is back at work busy as can be, and yes she is angry with him for it.
So it got me to thinking, is it a male/female thing or are there many ways to grieve? I don’t know the answer but I would love some feedback.
I have known many families that have had the experience of a stillbirth and/or miscarriage and it can either make a marriage stronger or it can add to the stress of the marriage and bring it down. I suppose respecting the way one grieves would be one way to make the marriage stronger. I wish I had known that at the time, but I didn’t.
Live and learn.